I’m sitting here waiting for my food.   A moment I’ve been waiting since I knew I was making the 4 hour drive back home, but now I’m not hungry.  I’m sitting here alone trying to fight back tears and I’m not really sure why.  As soon as I dropped off the kids I felt it hit like a wave.   This overwhelming feeling of sadness.  I have the lovely habit of putting off my intense emotions for later processing and now that I finally have nothing else holding my attention they decide to come through.

The nostalgic music isn’t helping my cause.  I intended to get my food to go and eat at the beach but it ended up being a lot colder and later than I anticipated.  So now I’m here trying to figure out where these feelings are coming from.

I did have an exceptionally long day at work and a long drive but that’s not it.  Maybe it’s the reason why I’m down here… to visit someone I care about who is in the last place on earth that I’d like to be and all for reasons that aren’t good enough.  I’m not ready for this.