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Good Grief

Elisabeth Kubler is credited with the concept that grief is processed through 5 stages. 

  • Denial
  • Anger
  • Bargaining 
  • Depression 
  • Acceptance 

Not everyone goes through them in order and not everyone experiences each one.   Some people bounce back and forth between them.  Each one is different but each one leads to the same place – acceptance.

Grief is a natural reaction to losing something or someone we love.   We don’t want to believe it’s real,  we deny it and when reality starts to hit and we can’t deny it anymore we get angry, sooner or later you realize that anger gets you no where you want to be so you start bargaining.  “Maybe if I change or do this different I’ll be able to get back what I lost” but you realize you can’t.   Nothing you do will change what already happened, so you get depressed.  And you can stay there for as long as you like but the problem with that is that it kills you slowly.  Robbing you of the space you need to experience anything else, anything good. 

As humans we can all experience a wide range of emotions but how we deal with those emotions vary from person to person.  Some of us suppress certain emotions while openly expressing others.   Our conditioning has told us that certain emotions are good while others are undesirable or shameful.  So when we deal with other people in a highly emotional situation it can be hard to see things from anyone else’s point of view.   But regardless of what is going on and with who we should be mindful that people handle things differently and we don’t have to handle them the same way.  This is where a little compassion goes a long way.   Not for their sake but for ours.   Our energy,  our vibration,  our happiness is our own responsibility and it should be of the highest priority.

Let people get mad,  let them be sad,  let them do what they have to do to reach acceptance.  Just because someone is offering you their vibration doesn’t mean you have to take it.   Find your peace and set up what values help preserve that peace.   Once you set your boundaries, knowing what falls in or out of them is easy.  Have compassion for people who are struggling but don’t take on their burden.   Oftentimes our greatest pleasures come from our greatest pain.  Pain is something we need to embrace,  it shows us where we are hurt and once we know we can begin to heal and move forward.


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