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Kids and Expectations

Today I had a conversation with someone who expressed their disapproval of a young girl behaving too much like a boy.  It was a relative of the girl and I’m sure the intent wasn’t malicious but it made me angry.  Who the fuck are we to say what boys and girls should like or do, why is it frowned upon when a girl prefers sports to playing with Barbie dolls?  I guess more than anything what bothers me is how we as humans have the bad habit of imposing our belief system onto others.  We expect the rest of the world to view the world from our perspective.  It’s never going to fucking happen!!!!  We were each born and raised in different circumstances, not just the obvious things like race, religion, culture, language but also more subtle things like our expectations of gender roles, time giving, social involvement, body image etc.

Is a prepubescent girl really causing any harm by playing “boy” sports?  Why the fuck do we want her to play with Barbie dolls?  Does she really have to like pink?  It just angers me because here we are growing up and trying to discover who we are, what we love, what our passions are and then those closest to us tell us we are wrong.

And the kicker is that the only reason that adult is trying to redirect the child is that they are afraid of being shamed or criticized because by other people in their life telling them that it’s wrong.  I’m sorry but who the fuck are you??  Worry about your own shit before you go out and try to police the rest of the world.

Kids need encouragement, they need acceptance.  They need to know that no matter what they do, what they like or who they choose to be that they will be loved.  A kid at that age has a lot of learning and growing to do, who’s to say that in 2 years they won’t be all glitter and dresses.  You don’t fucking know.  Let the kids be happy.  Let them figure that shit out on their own, as long as it’s not causing them physical harm let them be.

It just really irks me how fucking shallow we can be.  And although it sounds like a judgment, I’m not judging the adult because they grew up into the same way of thinking.  We are conditioned as children, by our parents, society, the media, but it’s our responsibility as humans to go out and seek our own truths.  Don’t believe and accept something just because some “authority” figure on TV says it’s true.  Think for yourself and question what it is that you are thinking.

Nurture your children, give them space to evolve.  Guide them gently into the realm of compassion and respect for others, especially themselves.  Let them learn who they think they are, who they want to be.  And most importantly, teach them to love themselves, to accept themselves, to know themselves, because if you know who you are it doesn’t matter what others think or say about you or what expectations they try to push onto to you, you will stay you and being you freely is one of the many but often lost keys to happiness.

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